Pussy Posse Discussion
Topic: Vulva Massage and Fingering Techniques
Last night the Posse talked about the importance of connecting with your vulva through touch. We started out by viewing a clip from “Viva la Vulva,” one of Betty Dodson’s vintage videos from the late 1990’s. The clip shows Betty leading a circle of women in vulva massage. I love watching this clip! Betty is brilliant as she guides the women in touching themselves. All of the women are happy, playful, and enjoying the experience. As I watch this clip, I want to join in. It’s a wonderful reminder that we need to connect with our genitals lovingly and playfully, without the goal of orgasm.
Here is the clip:
Fingering Techniques:
We hopped over to the OMGYes.com website to explore different fingering techniques. If you’re not familiar, OMGYes offers pleasure education for women based on research. There is a one-time fee to access the information and videos. The website offers a variety of specific techniques to try with drawings and interactive features. Videos include real women sharing their experiences.
One of the great benefits of OMGYes is that it helps us discover the words that we need to tell sex partners specifically how we enjoy being touched. We have a model for how to communicate what we find pleasurable, which is critical to enjoying partner sex. In one clip that we watched, a young woman talked specifically about telling her partner exactly how to touch her clitoris. It’ so empowering!
Back to fingering techniques . . . we started with the topic of “Orbiting”, aka circling. According to OMGYes, “eight out of ten women love some sort of continuous, circular motion around the clit during arousal.” However, there is no one specific technique that all women enjoy. Location, pressure, and speed are all important factors.
We also explored the techniques of “Layering”, meaning indirect contact with the clit by moving the skins around it for stimulation and “Rhythm”, which involved tapping the clit or labia with one or more fingers. The Posse agreed that it was enlightening to see the videos demonstrating new techniques. I know that I’m inspired to try out a few new ideas!
One revelation that I had was that we find use different fingers in our technique. I mostly use my index finger, sometimes in combination with my middle finger. Another Posse member uses her index finger and thumb. Another said she typically uses her middle finger. The ring finger in combination with the middle finger was the preference of another. Now I’m motivated to try different fingers to explore new sensations!
Be sure to use lube when you’re fingering yourself and giving yourself a vulva massage. Lubricant reduces friction and enhances pleasure. Even if you are already wet, the consistency of lube adds to pleasure. I noticed that the use of lube wasn’t apparent on the OMGYes videos or mentioned in the text that I read. I can hear both Betty and Carlin saying “Never touch a clitoris with a dry hand!” It’s important.
Honest, real talk in a supportive space is a wonderful way to learn new techniques. I am so grateful for the women in the Pussy Posse who are interested in having discussions. It truly helps us all explore and grow our own sexual pleasure.
